Saturday, March 29, 2008
Return From the Gates of Hell (13th of a Series)
Colombia, South America Interview of Dr. Gloria Polo by Radio Maria
...because at least I could have prohibitive inhibitions. I stole from my children the grace of having a mother at home, tender and loving, and not the mother out in the world leaving them with the TV, the computer, or the video games for baby sitters. To clean my conscience, I would buy them brand-name clothes. It horrified me even worse when I saw my mom questioning herself, even though she was a saintly woman who loved and corrected us. So I thought? What about me? I haven’t given my children anything! How frightening, what immense pain!? I felt ashamed because in the book of life you get to see everything like in a movie. And my children would say let’s hope mom doesn’t come home soon, hopefully there will be a traffic jam, because she’s really annoying and is always complaining? How sad it is for a three- year-old boy and a slightly older girl to say that. I stole their mother from them; I stole the peace I was supposed to give in my home. I didn’t teach them God through me; I didn’t teach them to love their fellowman. It’s very simple: if I don’t love my fellowman, I have nothing to do with the Lord. If I have no mercy, I have nothing to do with the Lord. Because God is love and? Well, I’ll tell you a little bit about not bearing false witness. Or lie, because I was an expert at it. Satan became my father, because you may have either God or Satan as father. If God is love, but I hate, who is my father? Not hard to answer. And if God speaks to me about forgiveness and about loving those who hurt me but I would say that I would repay any offense, then who is my father? And if He is the truth and Satan is the lies, who is my father? There are no white lies or anything like that. They are all lies and Satan is their father. My sins of the word were so terrible! I saw how much I had hurt with my tongue. Whenever I gossiped, whenever I made fun, whenever I gave anyone a nickname, how much did that person hurt? How much did that nickname hurt. I could give someone with a weight problem an inferiority complex by just calling her father. How much evil I did, because words always end up as actions. When they gave me the test on the Ten Commandments, all my evils came from covetousness, that mad desire. I always thought I would be happy if only I had lots of money. And it became an obsession. How sad! The worst moment for my soul was when I had the most money. I even thought of killing myself. With so much money and alone, empty! Sour. Frustrated. That greed for money was the path that led me astray and away from my Lord’s hand. After my test on the Ten Commandments they showed me the Book of Life. I wish I had words to describe it. My book of life started at conception, when my parents, cells united. Almost immediately there was a spark, a beautiful explosion and a soul ...
...To be continued